The Space Someone We Love Leaves Behind
Loss is tough. Even when it’s expected, it’s tough.
Death - loss - bereavement - grief … words that feel final but never seem to capture how our lives were impacted by our loved one’s presence and now, absence. It can feel like the full stop that we never asked for.
Grief is the constant companion that walks beside us as we navigate the “new normal”. As a therapist, I don’t even know what that word “normal” means. It’s really strange as in some ways time stops for us but continues for others. The space this person held in our lives, whether it was weekly phone calls or Sunday lunches together, still remains oscillating between there and not there. They still cross our minds and we still reach for them, only to catch ourselves with the unwanted whisper of “they’re gone”.
We all grieve differently - endless tears, heavy heart, empty spaces, autopilot vibes, a commitment to raising awareness, deepening of faith, a break from faith, unanswered questions that swirl around in our minds - and yet the sorrow and ache we feel is acute.
There is nothing that can prepare us for the loss of a place for our love to go.
Every culture is different. Every family is different. Every religion is different. And we learn how to navigate the loss of a loved one from society, our communities and from our families. For some, grief is a silent experience in isolation. For others, they keep the memory of their loved one alive - sharing stories, making a toast to them and praying for their soul. And for many, they focus on celebrating their loved one’s life.
Everyone will have their own way so I encourage you to take a moment to think about how you’d like to hold the memory of your loved one? Maybe it’s marking their birthdays, thanking them when you have a bit of luck, seeing them in signs, keeping their photo displayed or sharing memories.
There are no words to convey how deep grief goes however here are 3 reminders I want to share with you:
There is no timeline for grief - rather we can experience it like waves.
Remember to nourish yourself
Grief can feel lonely and you don’t have to navigate this alone
Sending you my warmest intentions,
Daniella x